Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Priorities

›
Me: Good morning Mr. here-every-three-days-for-dialysis-because-you-commited-medicaid-fraud-and-can't-get-a-chair-without-coming-through...

Good morning!

›
I walked in to my first patient's room this morning, a schizophrenic alcoholic brought in by ambulance to sleep it off, and was greeted ...
1 comment:

Chief complaint of the day

›
"Bugs in vagina." (She was right).
Wednesday, December 23, 2009

AAAAH!

›
First patient of the morning: R eye gouged out in bar fight. And I was right in the middle of breakfast. This is the one circumstance wher...

Not an auspicious way to start the night

›
"So, patient in 43 was out with some friends when a car pulled over with two men in it who offered her 2 adderall. For unknown reasons...

overheard at morning changeover

›
"Patient 3, is well, literally a crack ho, I guess there's not a better way to say it. So she was out working last night and one o...
Friday, December 18, 2009

Overheard

›
Staff physician nextdoor to a very very frequent flier: "Hello sir! I've seen you here a few times before. What brings you back?...
Sunday, December 13, 2009

Emergency of the night

›
A for-real triage note: "23 female Pt complains of lower abdominal pain, crampy in nature, for two days. Pain has been accompanied by ...
Saturday, December 12, 2009

Actual chief complaint of the week

›
Circa 4am: "Okay, so I'm a dancer and I found an amazing new move on Asianpoledancing.com or something like that and I practiced it...
Sunday, December 6, 2009

with friends like these

›
We got a strange overhead page mid-shift this evening requesting all available staff immediately to the front sidewalk. We get there and f...
1 comment: