WHYYY?

Pleasant 3o-something dude in room 12, chief complaint of rectal bleeding and pain since 2am.

Me: Did you insert anything in your bottom?

Him: Ew, no.

Me: Have you had anal intercourse recently.

Him: Not recently

Me: Did you do anything unusual last night that might have irritated the skin down there?

Him: Not really no.

Me: Well, what were you doing when the pain started?

Him: I was doing a douche.

Me: Like an enema?

Him: Yeah, with peroxide.

Mmhm. Child gave himself an enema with hydrogen peroxide (note in above dialogue that he does not consider this unusual behavior).

He never really gave me any reasoning behind this decision.

The irritation was so extensive that we ended up admitting him for observation.

Moral of the story, don't do that.