Good morning!

I walked in to my first patient's room this morning, a schizophrenic alcoholic brought in by ambulance to sleep it off, and was greeted by a giant boozy hug. It was a good minute and a half before I could disentangle.

"How are you doing today?"

"Well, doctor," (another hug), "I peed myself. Also, can you look at my rash, I think I got some of them bugs on me again."


Lesson of the day: Bring a change of scrubs. Always.