And I've arrived

So the day has come!

I showed up yesterday morning for more baby plumping fun and got the following 911 page:

"Scopes, go pick up your medical students from the lounge, they don't know where to go."

Yes, loves, I have my very own bright eyed nervous-as-all-get-out third year of medical school ducklings to do whatever I please with for the next three weeks.

No matter what project I assign them, they manage to do it while nervously fluttering around exactly three feet behind me and two feet to either side. Everywhere I go they're there, looking at me expectantly. "Teach me," plead their eyes, "And please please please assign me a project I can successfully accomplish without injuring anyone or passing out."

The girl one (I-have-a-phd-I'm-a-doctor-and-a-half!) is picking things up relatively well, and spends her down time at least pretending to research stuff or work on her notes. The boy one (it's-wildly-unclear-how-I-got-into-medical-school-to-start-with-and-please-don't-count-on-me-to-help-you-with-any-phone-calls-because-I-will-forget-my-name-panic-and-hand-the-phone-to-you) is having a tough time.

The following breathless page is not atypical (approximately 35 minutes after I sent him to another ward to check if a patient's surgical scar is healing well).

"Hi, Dr. S. I got to the patient's room. What should I do now?"

Well, try looking in the room and seeing if the patient is there or not.

"Um. ::agonizing 27 second pause:: The curtain is closed. I can't tell."

Love, you are now a student doctor. You may enter the room and look inside the curtain, then check the scar site for redness, tenderness, pus, and make sure it's well-aligned.

::50 minutes later, back at the work room.::

"Okay, she's there, I looked at her and she looks fine. Her pupils are equal and reactive to light, she has reflexes present in both kness, I can't tell if she has a murmur or not. . ."

::I interrupt:: Butterfly, sweetheart, what did the incision site look like?

"Oh. The incision?? The incision. Oh yeah! The incision. I didn't check."

Repeat times 80 times a day.