Most PG-13 justification for prophylactic antibiotics . . .ever

We consulted on a 20something patient with multiple psychiatric problems (admitted for inserting multiple household implements into her intestines through every imaginable route. Yes, including her belly button. I know, gross.)

Anyway, we went to see her, she was doing fine. We went over her home medications: 5 psychiatric drugs and . . .an antibiotic.

How long had she been on the antibiotic?

About a year.

Why?

Why indeed.

So it turns out that about a year and a half ago one of her doctors came up with a novel suggestion for stress relief involving a certain plastic vibrating male body part (actually a sage and semi-safe alternative for someone with an uncontrollable proclivity for inserting objects into assorted orifices). Well, her hygiene, shockingly, was not setting any world records, her mechanical "assistant" was likely not being wiped down on a regular basis, and she quickly developed recurrent infections.

Instead of, I don't know, patient education on proper vibrator hygiene, the doctor opted to put her on lifelong prophylactic antibiotics.

:-) Whatever works.