One of my patients got pissy a few days ago and decided to walk out of the hospital before discharge was complete barefoot, in his hospital gown, with his central line in place (like a giant IV that goes into a vein below his collarbone and is sewn into his skin).
Security couldn't find him and he was technically no longer a patient, his paperwork had gone through, so we just let it go and figured he'd come back for his clothes at some point.
He wandered back in around 9pm last night with the chief complaint "take this IV out of my nipple."
Turns out his plan had been to cover the line with tin foil and just leave it in forever. But he got really drunk on Sunday and his buddies were making fun of the line and pulling on it and he lost the piece of tinfoil and it was starting to hurt a little so he decided it was time to drop by and visit us.
Oh, and by the way, can he have his clothes back and a free ten day supply of his pain meds?
:-) Gotta love a community hospital.
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