Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Miracles! A personal note

I just received my first email addressed to . . . . Dr. Me And on the residency website they list me as "me," MD. I wonder when this will stop being exciting.

In personal medical news, ever since leaving Israel last summer I have for all intents and purposes dispensed with menstruation (it's been about 10 months now). While I like to believe that my uterus has simply evolved beyond the need for such barbaric and messy practices, I realize that this is probably not indeed my ideal state of being.

I saw my ob/gyn in the states and we're trying out some meds, discussing fertility options. But my husband also insisted I see his Chinese doctor/acupuncturist, Larry. Since he also plays ocean sound music, shiatsus my shoulders, and the room smells like lavender, I have no problem acquiescing.

So Larry takes my pulse, shakes his head and clicks his teeth, asks to see my tongue, looks terribly disappointed in me, and tells me he wishes I had called him when I had my worm troubles because all I needed to do was warm my spleen either externally or with ginger tea, and I could have been symptom-free my entire trip. If only I had known it was my frigid spleen causing all the trouble!

So then, he focuses on my ovaries: massages my tummy for a while ("you have a lot of fire in your liver which is overheating your heart leading to obstruction in your thyroid- I've got to get things moving"), and then he sticks two needles in the webs between my first and second toes, and in both wrists.

About 7 minutes later, he holds his hands over my head for a few minutes and then says, "Okay, you're better now. You'll get your period tomorrow I imagine, and you shouldn't have any troubles with menstruation any more. I've retaught your nervous system how to regulate itself."

Amazing!

Hee. I'll let you know what happens tomorrow. . .

And for your viewing pleasure. . . a polycystic ovary:

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

And here's me with just one cyst. I'm so underaccomplished compared to you. Not to mention the whole you're a doctor thing.

Remember when I went to Larry and he looked at my tongue and took my pulse then told me I need to start eating breakfast when in fact I was eating breakfast every day? Not the best way to establish credibility at the beginning of a session with a new patient.

gwen said...

i wanna know the results! did you get your period?

the other day i was doing standardized patient work and the facilitating doctor in my room was the head of family-planning studies at NIH. it was cool cause he'd been working on it for years, and was very pro-the new IUD's, talking about how it's great for navy women to get them so they don't get pregnant on long, boring submarine or ship journeys. and he was talking about trying to design new pills, that the hormones were like using a sledgehammer to do a small delicate task.